Selecting Your ‘A’ Team: The Art of Choosing Your Dream Wedding Party- Part 2

Selecting Your ‘A’ Team: The Art of Choosing Your Dream Wedding Party- Part 2

You won’t be the only ones standing up at the altar on your wedding day! Your bridal party will be up there, too, supporting the two of you as you exchange your vows. That sounds easy, but deciding who to choose for your wedding party? Not so much. There are so many questions- mostly rooted in tradition and rules, but there are no longer any rules! You can buck tradition as much or as little as you want!

Last week we talked about some important considerations and key tips that will help you choose the right individuals to serve as members of your wedding party. Now let’s dive into some very common questions!

When Should We Ask People to Be in Our Wedding Party?

Ideally, you should ask within a few months of getting engaged—especially if you’ll be getting married in 12 months or less. Think about your guest list. For a small wedding, say 50 guests or less, having 10 wedding party members will feel totally off balance. However, a guest list of 200 could feel very natural with that guest list. Whatever size seems right for you, make sure to ask everyone at the same time -especially if the potential wedding party members are in the same social circles.

Do We Have to Have Bridesmaids and Groomsmen?

Absolutely not! There is no rule saying you need to label these special folks at your wedding as “bridesmaids” or “groomsmen” at all. There is not even a rule saying that you need them at all! You do not have to have the exact same number of people standing on each side of the altar!

Can We Bend the Rules on The Maid of Honor or Best Man Traditions?

Your guest(s) of honor is totally up to you. So, if you can’t decide between a family member and your BFF, or if your partner-to-be has two brothers, give them both that title. This will also ease some of the responsibilities of the role by dividing it between two or more people. When it comes to toasts, they can either all speak individually or write toasts together for speeches that are dialogues instead of monologues.

Do I Have to Pick a Maid of Honor?

You can certainly go without a maid of honor. This happens sometimes when you simply can’t decide which friend to nominate, and that is perfectly okay!

Can I Have a Brides Man or Man of Honor?

Of course! This has become a more and more popular choice as couples start to break away from traditional roles. Your besties may have relationships to gender that differ from yours, and they absolutely can still be included in your wedding! Some include a best guy friend, best girl friend or a non-binary friend in their wedding party. Consider just ditching the labels and simply asking each of your closest friends to stand by your side during your ceremony.

Does My Sister Have to Be My Maid of Honor?

While many brides do opt to nominate their sister(s) as maid(s) of honor, there’s no hard-and-fast rule saying you absolutely must. Especially if she’s younger, you might want to give that title to a friend who will be able to fill the role more fully. If you don’t ask your sister to be maid of honor, you may still want to set her apart in some way, whether it’s with a special accessory, a different bouquet, or the seat right next to you at the head table.

Should I include My Fiancé’s Sister as a Bridesmaid

Including your future siblings-in-law in the wedding party is always a good idea. After all, they’re almost family, and snubbing them could start you off on the wrong foot. However, including them in your wedding party will depend on the size you’re envisioning, as well as family relationships. If the two of you are happy to have a huge wedding party, then by all means include all of your siblings on both sides of the aisle. But if you’ve got your heart set on only three or four attendants each, don’t worry.

What is a good age for the Flower girls and Ring Bearers?

This is a great question! Child attendants are usually between the ages of four and nine or so. If the kids are under four, you run the risk of them not taking direction well or as you would imagine- getting shy or nervous in front of a crowd and abandoning their duties. Ask the older children to act as leaders, helping the younger ones down the aisle.

What about Junior Bridesmaids or Groomsmen? Do I have to have them?

It is not a must, but it is a great way to honor them! A junior bridesmaid or groomsman is generally in the 9- to 16-year-old range. The juniors are younger sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, or family friends that are important to you and are a perfect addition to your wedding party!

If there’s a unique way you would like to break tradition – go for it. The most important thing to remember: It’s your party, so include (or don’t include) whoever you want. Breaking tradition in choosing your wedding party can add a refreshing and personal touch to your special day. Rather than sticking to convention, couples now have the freedom to select their wedding party based on meaningful relationships instead of gender or family obligations. Breaking tradition can create a more inclusive and authentic celebration that truly reflects your unique journey and values.

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Selecting Your A Team: The Art of Choosing Your Dream Wedding Party- Part 1